


Something to Control.

by mediocre_everything



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish Is Trying His Best, Anxiety, Bisexual Blue Sargent, Bisexual Richard Gansey III, Eating Disorders, F/M, Gansey has Problems y’all, Gen, M/M, Multi, Richard Gansey III-centric, Ronan Lynch is Bad at Feelings, please stay safe y’all, trigger warning !!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26936644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mediocre_everything/pseuds/mediocre_everything
Summary: Grappling with the knowledge of his imminent death, and his rapidly changing life, Gansey tries to find something solid to hold on to. Something to ground him. Something he can control.Because gansey hates being out of control.( TW// heavily focused on eating disorders and mental health so if those things are triggering to you please PLEASE don’t read ! I’m writing this to help me cope, and I’d hate if someone else was triggered by it ! Stay stafe y’all ! )
Relationships: Henry Cheng/Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Noah Czerny & Richard Gansey III & Ronan Lynch & Adam Parrish & Blue Sargent, Richard Gansey III & Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III & Blue Sargent, Richard Gansey III & Ronan Lynch, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Kudos: 9





	Something to Control.

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya!! This is my first work in This fandom, sorry it’s such a dark one 😅  
> It’s going to be a bit triggering so please PLEASE don’t read if you have a history of Eating Disorders or if those things trigger you!! I’m writing this for me, to help me cope, and I would hate if it triggered someone else.   
> Enjoy!

Gansey was going die. 

It was something he couldn’t control. And if you knew Gansey, you knew he hated things he couldn’t control. It was one of Adam’s top ten things he teased him about ( sometimes in good fun, sometimes not so much. There’s another thing Gansey couldn’t control; his big mouth )   
It was because of this that the realisation that his death was to be soon really threw him off; It fucked with his sense of control. 

It started with something his health teacher said. All aglionby boys were required to take a health class at some point in their schooling, for the most part it was focused on healthy eating, sports and a bit of sex education ( although given that it’s an all boys private school you can imagine how helpful that is ) all the basic shit. This lesson happened to be about healthy eating, and being in control of your own diet. Y’know, the Eat well plate and all that crap. ( again, in a school full of rich teenage boys, you can imagine how helpful that was ). The other twenty something boys in the class scoffed at this, and carried on their merry ways to get a drive through and some beers, but the lesson stuck with Gansey. He’d felt a bit powerless recently, with everything going on, and the idea of something he could discreetly control ( while bettering himself !! Double win! ) really appealed to him.

The teacher had talked about calories, something which Gansey had never put much thought into before. Hell, he’d never put much thought into food in general before; he’d never had to. He resolved to do some research on it when he got back to Monmouth, and waited rather impatiently to get back to do so ( when he finds something he wants so know he isn’t interested in anything else until he knows. Re: Glendower. ) 

He found some forums, mostly about losing weight. It seemed a lot of this Calorie counting was to do with losing weight. Now, Gansey hadn’t really thought much about his physical appearance, much too busy chasing dead welsh kings to worry about those typical teenage problems, but now that he thought about it, Ronan was an awful lot smaller than he was, despite being only slightly taller, all lean muscle and sharp cheekbones. And Adam was so elegant, and Blue was so TINY. He looked quite big next to them, he realised. Quite overwhelming.   
Maybe he COULD stand to lose a little weight? To fit in a bit better. He must look so....much next to them. And it would give him something to control. Something to FIX. He needed to fix something, especially when all he seemed to be doing lately was break things. 

So that was settled. He’d control his calories. Control his food. Control his weight. It would give him something to focus on. Something to do. Then maybe he’d be more elegant, like Adam, More in control, like blue. Maybe he’d be more like them and less like him.


End file.
